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A handful of hilarity to take your mind off today's troubles...
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Posted:Jul 20, 2010 9:50 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2011 10:57 am
2897 Views
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I don't know how true any of this is, but it sure is damn funny lol! 
STORIES FROM EMERGENCY ROOMS AROUND THE COUNTRY:
FEMALE SOFA----- A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was
examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler
fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one
of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged
between the folds of her vulva.
PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan , a man came into
the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife
had "...a rat in her privates..." which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I would have drawn...). After an examination
of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left
inside her after a recent hysterectomy.
PING PONG ANY ONE? ----- A 20 year old man came into
the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his
boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, when
his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his
anus using a funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!.
The concrete then hardened (no sh*t Sherlock!),
causing constipation and pain. Under general
anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's
rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball.
BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania
ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove
his contact lenses. He said that they would come out
halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried
to help using a suction pump, but without success.
Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man
did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been
trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.
OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH! -----A couple hobbled into a
Washington State emergency room covered in bloody
restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his
abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They
eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out
that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with
passion, the woman crept under the table to administer
oral sex to the man (Classy or what??). While in the
act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to
clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side
to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a
fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.
And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!!
Friendship is like peeing your pants....... Everyone
can see it, but only you can feel it's true warmth.
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Ode to the (almost) Perfect Adult Friend
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Posted:Jul 3, 2010 11:42 pm
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2012 8:55 pm
2651 Views
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i am continuously grateful to AdultFriendFinder
for allowing us to connect
for setting us up for so many hours of
blissful
sweaty
fun
without a care in the world except
being in the moment
and enjoying
passionate
animalistic
raw sexual heat
intensified by
the tropical temps
as the
grabbing
nibbling
grunting
fucking
culminates in
spine tingling
climaxes
and then
rest up
for
the next round
and always
at the end of it all
a coke. muah!
dude, what an awesome year!
much mahalos and best of luck...
alohas.
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why do people put so much negativity into public spaces?
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Posted:Apr 25, 2010 3:32 am
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2012 8:56 pm
2637 Views
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i just left my local chat room because one regular user was practically attacking another for not accepting a prior offer of sex. it's a shame, because NO one else in the room needed to be a part of that conversation. so what? i don't like a lot of the things i've heard that person say. but he didn't deserve tonight's attack. when i don't like what i'm hearing, i say something about it, and then i take myself out of the equation. i wish that grown men would do the same more often.
one member was already not so high on my well-respected list. the other i had very little issue with until tonight. but as of right now, i have more respect for the victim than the attacker. that was ridiculous, and i feel that the continued negative rant ran a lot of good people out of the room tonight.
hey, mr. attacker: everyone has a right to say no, even if it was to your wife. she is not everyone's ideal, just like so many others are not her ideal. let the man say no. rejection happens. you guys [edit: you and your wife] do it all the time. you have dropped to a 2/10 respect level from me. and i'm not sure why i'm still giving you two points, except that i think you may be man enough to recognize where you were wrong after you've cooled off. i'm hoping that you were just having an asshole moment, and are not a complete asshole.
mr. disagreeable victim: i have heard you say some things in the room that i didn't like. but i respect that you do have the right to say no. that guy was out of line tonight. while i was in the room (who knows what transpired later) you were still respectful in your stance. i appreciate that, and wanted you to know.
fellow roomies: i just felt the need to speak out. i have had moments of negativity in the past too, but i have always apologized and stopped. i just want a peaceful fun place to hang out, and not worry about having this kinda shit take over the spirit of the room.
lets just all be real, and keep your tirades on a private level, if you must go off on someone. and remember that everyone has the right to say no. don't bitch. aloha
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